


Death Is A Lot Less Dead-ish Than He Thought

by bisexualkiseryouta



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, Paramedic Takao, Pining, Possible OOCness, Zombies, crime boss hanamiya, cursing, detective aomine, ex boyfriends moving on, izombie au, medical examiner midorima, zombie/medical examiner assistant kagami
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:27:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5077774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualkiseryouta/pseuds/bisexualkiseryouta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>4:50 AM</b><br/>One mistake—one fucking party he didn’t even want to go to—ruined his life. A bite on his upper arm forced him to kiss his relationship with Kuroko—his best friend <i>and</i> ex-boyfriend <i>and</i> the guy he was hoping to spend the rest of his life with—, his aspirations for being a surgeon, and his one-on-one time with his brother or Alex goodbye.<br/>Now, Kagami Taiga is a hermit who pines after his ex and eats the brains of murder victims to help solve said murders with Detective Asshole while waiting for his annoying as fuck coworker to find a cure for being undead.<br/>Not exactly what he was planning for his life, but, hey, he doesn’t <i>technically</i> have a life anymore.<br/>He’s already dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Is A Lot Less Dead-ish Than He Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's always told Kagami that he needs to get some brains.  
> For some reason, he thinks his current situation isn't what they meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! PROCRASTINATION POWERS ACTIVATE!
> 
> I have rekindled my love of iZombie, so, here is this thing! Enjoy!
> 
> Comments/kudos are welcome~ (please comment if you'd prefer I change the format; I'm unsure about it atm)

**7:33 AM**

The light floods into his bedroom, finally finagling its way around his black curtains just for the pleasure of annoying the hell out of him. Groaning, he flips over in his small bed, ignoring the twinge of pain that comes from his ankle knocking against the end of said bed. The bed really isn’t made for someone of his height; it was made for someone the size of its original occupant, who was—well, _is_ —significantly shorter than him.

**7:38 AM**

He can hear _him_. Kuroko is knocking about in the kitchen, loudly opening and closing cabinets and clattering dishes together. A few months ago, Kuroko would be trying to keep quiet, to give the guy he shares the apartment with a little R and R after his traumatic experience on that damn cruise; now, the petite boy is content to make as loud a ruckus as he can, not-so-secretly hoping the high volume soundtrack of his morning routine will coax his friend out of his self-imposed exile.

**7:40 AM**

Classical music seeps under his door, filling his room with something upbeat and powerful. In an attempt at retaliation, he stuffs an earbud in his ear and turns on some rock music with way too high a volume; he feels just the slightest spark of childish pride at ignoring Kuroko’s efforts to make him… happy. Or to, at least, elicit _some_ response from Kagami after months of silent indifference.

**7:46 AM**

A hand settles on the doorknob to his room. Kagami can feel his best friend’s presence loitering just outside his room, lurking like a concerned mother. “Kagami-kun?” The urge to reply is strong—almost too strong to ignore. There’s no way to describe how _badly_ he wants to call out to his friend, to let him in his room and tell him everything: why he won’t spend time with him, why he now works the night shift at the morgue, why he won’t say a damn word about that stupid fucking party on that stupid fucking boat. The taller man clenches his jaw, sealing his lips, deciding against letting his best friend in for probably the millionth time. After a pregnant pause, Kuroko continues. “I am going to work. If you get hungry, there are leftovers in the fridge.” There’s the soft rustling of clothing as the boy shifts his weight outside the door, waiting, hoping.

**7:47 AM**

“I will see you later, then.”

**7:48 AM**

Kuroko drops his hand from the doorknob and, after a few more seconds, walks away, socks gliding silently on the carpeted floor. Kagami can practically _see_ his friend’s shoulders slumped in defeat. There’s that ache in his chest—the ache he’s become so familiar with that the pain is practically the norm for him now. _I have to do this. I have to._ But, does he really? What if he just told Kuroko? What if he—?

No. He made his choice, and now he has to live with it, even if he has to live like a lonely hermit for the rest of his days. Well. Not live like that, Kagami corrects with mirth. More like remain a dead, lonely hermit until someone puts him out of his undead misery.

Yep, you heard that right: Kagami Taiga is dead. But, not really dead.

Kagami Taiga is a somewhat unwilling member of the undead, and will be, forevermore.

Or so he assumes.

____________________________________________

**6:35 PM**

He zips up his hoodie and readjusts the hood to hide as much of his face as possible; there are very few people from his old life in the area, but he’d rather not take a chance with being recognized. Kagami would rather not have to deal with more people trying to drag him back out into the real world. Kuroko’s nagging is more than enough to make him feel guilty for keeping him safe at the expense of his own happiness.

He shoves a container of microwave ramen in his messenger bag for later, along with his travel sized bottles of hot sauce and liquid wasabi, respectively. Kagami has found that he can only choke down food when it’s doused in hot, spicy stuff since the incident, and even then, it tastes like swallowing hot cotton balls. Not that he has any experience with swallowing hot cotton balls, mind you.

**6:37 PM**

Kagami is accosted when he reaches the front door. Kuroko looks, in one word, ridiculous: he’s bundled up in one of Kagami’s old sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants that are just a little too big for the boy’s frame, and a heavy knit blanket hangs over his shoulders like a cape. Kagami had no idea it was so cold in the apartment; apparently, being undead also includes an inability to tell when it’s freezing. Even Kuroko’s low tolerance for the cold doesn’t explain the extent to which he’s wrapped up.

“You’re leaving already? Doesn’t your shift start at 8?”

**6:38 PM**

Kagami’s shoulders lift an indifferent shrug as he focuses his gaze on a spot over Kuroko’s head. “Thought I’d head in a little early. Midorima’s always there early, anyways. Thought I might see if he needs anything.”

“You’re thinking quite a lot, aren’t you?” The shorter male’s lips lift in a kind of half smile, displaying his amusement quite clearly. Even after all these months of Kagami being emotionally and mentally MIA, Kuroko is still surprisingly open with him. Or, maybe his new boyfriend has just been making him more open with his expressions, or something.

**6:39 PM**

Is it bad that Kagami feels a pang when he thinks about Kuroko having a boyfriend that isn’t him?

**6:40 PM**

“Well. Be safe.”

“Yeah.”

There’s another awkward pause as Kuroko waits, expectantly, for Kagami to give him something else. Kagami continues to pointedly not meet his friend’s eyes. He’s done it a thousand times—avoiding his friend’s much too perceptive gaze—but it used to be accompanied by a deep blush settling on his cheeks and a bunch of stammering. Now, Kagami doesn’t even think he has the physical capability to blush.

**6:41 PM**

The apartment door swings shut behind him, and Kagami turns the key in the lock, locking away Kuroko and his sympathy and concern. The ache is back in full force as he walks away from the apartment; it feels like the place where his heart used to be has been run through with a sword.

**7:10 PM**

The train is dead ( _hah, how ironic_ ), so Kagami gets to spend the entire way to the morgue listening to music on his phone, reading articles on some basketball teams. His new nocturnal life style has definitely put a cramp in his basketball time; yet another casualty of that damn party. It doesn’t matter though, not really. He’s pushed away everyone so thoroughly that he doesn’t have a single person left who would deign to play one-on-one with him.

**7:26 PM**

Kagami skulks through the police department, keeping his eyes glued on the ground so as not to call attention to himself. With his hood up and his hands in his pockets, he looks quite like one of the guys the officers would book for selling drugs or fighting on the street.

The stairs at the end of one of the many hallways branching off the main one lead down to the morgue, and the smell of bleach and formaldehyde grows stronger as he descends in to the bowels of the police department.

**7:35 PM**

Mayuzumi clocks out early when Kagami offers to relieve him of his M.E. duties a few minutes early. The stench of death clings to the gray-haired man as he exits the morgue, nodding his thanks to Kagami.

 _Probably off to read some of his perverted romance novels again._ Kagami will never be able to forget the one time he dared to read the back of one of his coworker’s novels when he left it in the break room. Let’s just say that it made a virgin like Kagami turn a vibrant red.

**7:45 PM**

Kagami shrugs on his white lab coat, still blasting music from his earbuds. No need to gear up for cutting dead people up before he has to.

**7:52 PM**

Midorima enters the breakroom with his lab coat on, looking a million times more professional than Kagami in his dress pants, crisp button up, and argyle sweater. “Good evening, Kagami. Enjoying your dinner?”

**7:53 PM**

Kagami grunts at the asshole who happens to be both his only companion in the morgue every night and the single person on the entire damn earth who knew the true aftermath of the disastrous boat party that claimed the lives of a bunch of young adults looking to get a little crazy. “As much as I can.”

“Well, that’s all you can ask for, I suppose.”

_______________________________________

**2:50 AM**

“Special delivery~”

Takao practically skips into the morgue, pushing a gurney with a full body bag atop it into the room. “Enjoy, Shin-chan! See you at home!”

Kagami wheels the body over to one of their tables to give Midorima a chance to stop blushing and stammering like a love-struck idiot. There’s no need to make him feel sicker to his stomach than he already is after eating ramen covered in wasabi with a sprinkling of brain crumbles, and the Takao and Midorima lovefest always makes him feel like throwing up.

“Goodbye, Takao.”

**3:01 AM**

“John Doe, approximately 26 years old, 190 centimeters, 78 kg, cause of death: strangulation.”

“ _Presumed_ cause of death: strangulation. We cannot be positive without an autopsy.” Midorima readjusts his glasses with the back of his hands, careful to not get the dead people germs from his glove’s fingerprints on his face.

“Fine. _Presumed_.”

**3:10 AM**

“Got an I.D. on our John Doe?”

“Oi, why the hell do you have to come down here, you bastard? Can’t you send your partner?” The navy-haired man scoffs at Kagami’s outrage. “And deprive myself of seeing you every night? Fat chance, blondie.”

Kagami scowls at the officer, wishing he could pull up his hood and hide his stupid fucking bleach blonde looking hair and sink into the depths of hell. Midorima clears his throat.

**3:11 AM**

“We have been unable to identify him thus far. His prints came up clean in the system.”

**3:12 AM**

“Well, make him a priority, or tell the next guys to. We found him in one of Hanamiya’s apartment buildings where he keeps his prostitutes. Finger crossed that spider bastard killed the kid. I’ve been itching to take him down.”

**3:13 AM**

“I do not believe your superiors would appreciate you taking down a crime boss that happens to be their very best informant.” Midorima glowers as Aomine wrenches the clipboard out of Kagami’s hands, looking over the information filled in. “Damn, Bakagami, your handwriting is complete shit.”

“Detective, I would appreciate if you left us alone so we can I.D. the victim.” Midorima’s disdain for the deeply tanned man is veiled by a thin layer of civility.

“Gotcha. See ya, greenie, tiger.”

**3:25 AM**

Kagami pours the taco seasoning over the crumbled up brain of a possible prostitute, who, according to their examination of the body, was for people of the male persuasion. Hours ago, he finished the brains of a middle-aged mother of three who died peacefully in her sleep. Minimal visions and a strong urge to smooth down Kuroko’s bedhead came from it.

Kagami doubts he’ll be so lucky this time.

**3:59 AM**

“Remember to write down anything you see. I have conveyed in our file that whoever has the next shift should take upmost care with the victim’s body.”

“Yeah, got it.” Kagami returns his coat to the hook in his locker.

“Kagami.” Midorima meets his eyes steadily, something like sympathy flashing across his face. “Your living conditions are not ideal, I know. I am working as hard as I can to reverse what happened to you, so please continue to take your job seriously.”

Kagami looks away. “Got it.”

**4:50 AM**

Kagami flops down on his bed, wondering how in the _hell_ his life ended up like this.

One mistake—one fucking party he didn’t even want to go to—ruined his life. A bite on his upper arm forced him to kiss his relationship with Kuroko—his best friend _and_ ex-boyfriend _and_ the guy he was hoping to spend the rest of his life with—, his aspirations for being a surgeon, and his one-on-one time with his brother or Alex goodbye.

Now, Kagami Taiga is a hermit who pines after his ex and eats the brains of murder victims to help solve said murders with Detective Asshole while waiting for his annoying as fuck coworker to find a cure for being undead.

Not exactly what he was planning for his life, but, hey, he doesn’t technically have a life anymore.

He’s already dead.


End file.
